Remember in my last post when I said that I was looking forward to my life settling a bit? And remember how I was excited that it probably would because I had just started a great, new, grown-up job?
I was laid off yesterday.
It’s a fact of life these days, but nothing like this has ever happened to me before. No one has ever even wanted to fire me, especially after only three weeks of work. It feels like I’ve had the air knocked out of me, or like when a tablecloth gets pulled out from under place settings at a dinner party, only not in the cool way where everything stays on the table, unbroken.
However, I have realized in the last twenty-four hours that I am still on the table. I’m a bit tipped over, and there’s a whole mess of broken stuff scattered around, but I am still here and there are some great people, some of whom I barely know, who do not understand the choice that was made yesterday any more than I do and are helping me pick up the pieces.
I feel a lot better today than I thought I would be able to at this time yesterday. I am still stressed and scared, but I feel like I’m going to make it.
And who knows? Maybe getting laid off will end up being the best thing that could have happened.
I don’t know what’s next, but I believe in myself a little bit more than I did this morning and a hell of a lot more than I did yesterday at five in the afternoon.
We will just have to see what happens. And keep on living.